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May 2019
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X-Ray Technology at the IU Medical Center
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Winning Entry: AND, it can fix that annoying Check Engine light too! - John Hayes
1398 reads 
Now ladies, we plugged it in
Now ladies, we plugged it in this time, right?
Don't tell the Dean but I
Don't tell the Dean but I think this is part of the iron lung.
"This machine is our oldest,
"This machine is our oldest, so the images we get are bare-bones"
"Don't lie to me, Thelma. I
"Don't lie to me, Thelma. I can see right through you."
Her name is Oxie See, and
Her name is Oxie See, and she'll make you glow brighter than your uniforms.
Does someone have 5 cents? I
Does someone have 5 cents? I want to hear "Blue Suede Shoes."
“Don’t look at the camera,
“Don’t look at the camera, they wanted a candid.”
Those smiles aren't too bad
Those smiles aren't too bad for my knock knock joke, but when I tell you my next doozy, I want to see the needles on this "smile meter" really jump!
"The results of our 12-year
"The results of our 12-year study are in! We have finally proved that 96.3 percent of the time ... *checks readout* ... he who smelt it dealt it."
So...which one of you would
So...which one of you would like to volunteer?
Now girls, I know we're all
Now girls, I know we're all excited that the medical center finally filled our request for a slot machine, but remember that is the 1950s and gambling is only for men... Ha Ha! - don't tell me you fell for that?! Go ahead, the dean is on vacation!
All try to clear their minds
All try to clear their minds of the disbelief at what they are hearing, for fear this new machine will really detect their thoughts.......
Scientists unveil a prototype
Scientists unveil a prototype of "The Clapper."
They all listened and smiled,
They all listened and smiled, transfixed by the traveling man and his intoxicating words as he told them the wonders of The Machine. All but Anne-Marie, who felt a chill run down her spine as she realized that as she stared at it, The Machine stared back.
Results are in folks, and I
Results are in folks, and I think one of us in this room isn't human! Someone here has no bones!
You just matched with
You just matched with Mortimer, 21!
"Remember to plug the patient
"Remember to plug the patient into the port before you commence refueling."
The left-hand scale is for
The left-hand scale is for "Truth", the right-hand one for "Dare". Everyone ready?
AND, it can fix that annoying
AND, it can fix that annoying Check Engine light too!
Yes it can hear us, but it
Yes it can hear us, but it only understands when you speak in Instruction Manual.
"I see that no one had the
"I see that no one had the foresight to bring along her lead nurse's cap..."
Everything we know about the
Everything we know about the fundamental building blocks of the universe is being stored in this machine. We're calling him "Elementary Watson".
"No Nurse Ratched this will
"No Nurse Ratched this will not bring shame upon you and your family. This is an x-RAY film that you will be viewing."