January 2017

Young man, did you even bother to look up the term statuesque? 

Look, you can't just waltz in here with your girlfriend and get her plastered!  This isn't that kind of place!

I like big butts and I cannot lie!!!

Now just imagine creating a number of these made out of iron and placing them on the path leading to the libary. Would that freak people out or what?

You realize that everyone is going to want one of these now?

I'm fairly certain the directions said for my likeness to be life sized and fully dressed...

Sorry!  That's not what I had in mind when I told you to create a "mannequin challenge!"

"Look, kid, I don't think this 'praying to Aphrodite to make her into a real woman' thing is gonna work out."

Look kid, I'm sorry your friend fell in our vat of Elmer's glue, but there's not much I can do just yet, capisce?

Your mother is shorter than I had imagined. 

"You have your mother's eyes Harry."
 "Why does everyone tell me that? And that statue looks nothing like her!" 

Son, let me share many years of wisdom with you.  Even though the bottom is that big, you must always remember a great artist knows when to play down the obvious. 

How do I say this....BOOYAA!  

"These cut lines ya drew ain't gonna work, see.  Ya wanna slice the stiff up at its joints."

-- Mafia 101

You talked my daughter into modeling for you, boy?  You expect me to believe that?

Son, they'll never let us move onto the main campus if we keep sculpting streetwalkers from Chicago. And you didn't even give her a purse.